How to Change Your Negative Emotions

Trick or Treat

It’s Halloween. Put on a costume.  Wear a mask.

Pretend to be what you’re really not.  Make believe you are who you wish you could be.

But the real question to ponder is, what disguise do you secretly wear in your daily life?

Psychologist, Robin Reznick, Ph.D., says:  “We sometimes wear masks as our shield-to protect (and conceal) ourselves. Hiding behind our masks gets us through our day, however deceptively, because we conceal what we truly think, feel and want.”

Masks we wear don’t necessarily represent who we are, they just “mask” who we really are.

Our masks help us play different roles in life so that others will view us in more desirable ways – the responsible worker, the confident adult, the great lover, a trusting friend.

Halloween is the night where it’s acceptable to present yourself as someone else. It’s fun (and okay) to wear a mask.

But on an ordinary day, do people see you when they look at you?  Or is your mask perpetually on?

Let’s face it-everyone wears masks. But, cautions Dr. Reznick; “Don’t get too attached to yours.  Reveal who you really are.”

BOO!  It’s Spooky.

But, don’t be scared.  Let others know who you really are. The true you has nothing to fear.

In your everyday life, enjoy being you.

But, on Halloween, enjoy the fun of dressing up and being someone else.

Trick or Treat.

Steve Jobs Quotes

“Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.”

“No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.”

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

“And it comes from saying no to 1,000 things to make sure we don’t get on the wrong track or try to do too much. We’re always thinking about new markets we could enter, but it’s only by saying no that you can concentrate on the things that are really important.”

“Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn’t matter to me. Going to bed at night saying we’ve done something wonderful, that’s what matters to me.”

“I’m an optimist in the sense that I believe humans are noble and honorable, and some of them are really smart. I have a very optimistic view of individuals.”

Conscious Creation

Conscious creation is the act of making conscious effort to create the life you want. It does go deeper than just changing your life, however. Conscious creation actually refers the very act of creating your own reality.

One of the tenets of conscious creation is that we each have a separate reality that other people cannot know or really understand. And that each of us has the ability to create that reality into anything we want it to be.

Every day when we get out of bed, we set into motion the creation of a certain reality, good or bad. And through conscious, also sometimes called deliberate, creation, we can shift that reality in either a better or worse direction.

At the root of this belief system is the idea of channeling. This can be interpreted two ways. Some use it to mean channeling your own deep-seated ideas and desires, while others see it as channeling other spirits or entities that have some sort of knowledge to impart. Many use it to mean both types of channeling.

Also at the heart of this conscious way of living is the belief that we all create our own reality, even though we don’t realize it. So that when something bad happens to you, it was actually your choice to have that thing happen.

If you suffer serious illness, believers will tell you that you have brought that into your life through choice, whether you know it or not. But that by gaining control of your reality, you can change things and bring what you want into your life, whether it is health, prosperity or overall happiness.

Through the act of deliberate creation, you start each day with a goal. Rather than the goals you might wake up to now like getting the kids to school on time or completing a project at work, you look at the bigger picture. Those will still be part of your goals of course, your daily life must continue. But you will choose different goals that will help define your reality.

The first step in creating your own reality is through your beliefs. Let’s say that right now you believe that most people are selfish and only out to get what they can for themselves without regards to other people. Your belief is creating that reality in your life, so most people in your life will be just this way.

If you shift your belief to one that says that most people are good at heart and want to do the right thing, most people in your life will fit that description. If you believe that you will never get out of debt, you probably never will. But if you wake up each day using conscious creation to believe you will get out of debt, you can make it happen.

Change Your Attitude to Gratitude

The holiday season is here and it might make you feel joy, stress or fear.

It could bring up family struggles and romantic relationship issues.You may feel bad about your unmet goals and think about what you want but don’t have now.

Your ego (your mind and awareness) tells you stories about your past and based on your interpretations of your past, you doubt yourself and worry about your future.

“What if I never have….?”

90% of our thinking is negative and we spend way too much energy thinking about what we don’t have.

Shift your thoughts to a positive perspective and be thankful for what you have in the present moment.

When you focus on what you have, you instruct the brain to look for information, resources and opportunities to be thankful now. Then, your mind will see more evidence of that every day, and you’ll find yourself having more to appreciate, satisfaction in relationships, and self growth.

Here’s a quote on gratitude by author, Melody Beattie: “Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity. It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.”

You have the power to perceive the way in which you view the world. It’s time to change your attitude to gratitude.

Write down 3 specific things you are grateful for and e-mail it to me.

Give thanks and have a Happy Thanksgiving!

Treat Yourself to Spa Deals

Sometimes it feels like our lives are filled with tight deadlines, frustrations and demands.

While we know how awful stress is, we’re constantly racing anyway.

It can be difficult to slow down and take time for ourselves.

But, we may not realize how our mind and body pay the price.

Need a break?

During that moment of down time at work, there’s an easy way to set up an appointment with Lifebooker.com where you’ll find exclusive health and beauty deals in NYC that offer stress-soothers from massages, to detox treatments, facials, haircuts and more.

Pampering yourself will give you energy to meet your personal challenges, feel self-confident, have healthy relationships, and more enjoyment in your life.

If you want to be your best, it’s time to take action and make yourself a priority.

As a Self in the City subscriber, you get an extra $10 towards any treatment on the site (if you have yet to book on Lifebooker.com).

Enter SELFINTHECITY in the Gift Certificate Box when checking out.

Click here to book it.

Turn Over a New Leaf

As summer ends and autumn begins, the sun sets earlier and the days get shorter.

Trees prepare for winter as their leaves change colors and eventually fall to the ground.

Nature responds naturally to the changing seasons. Let today, the first day of fall, inspire you towards personal growth. It’s time to let go of what no longer serves you and take on new challenges and responsibilities.

Despite your desire to make positive changes, you may feel stuck in bad habits and resist making a change. So, stop resisting it and start taking action.

And, if you’re having trouble changing on your own, having a life coach will help you get where you want to be more quickly and easily.

As a life coach, I’ll cheer you on, give you feedback, reaffirm your commitment, and motivate you to create new habits. You’ll discover healthy ways to manage your life.

I’ll track your performance to enable you to accomplish your goals. Don’t wait any longer to start a new career, boost your self-confidence, have a body you love or improve your relationships.

Just as trees know how to prepare for winter, personal growth starts with you knowing you’re ready and willing to take a step forward to change your life.

Today starts a new season-a reason to let bad habits fall away.

Turn over a new leaf.